Head up or sit back down.

I'm a complex soul in a simple body. My dreams don't fit and the path I'm on won't get me anywhere. But why frown when life throws you a hundred reasons to smile?



So there’s a volvo dealership next door to where I work and for a while now one of the mechanics there has been crushing on me, trying to get me to go on a date with him, etc. Well I hung out with him, but I was telling my coworkers how he’s kind of odd. When they asked why, all I could think was that I’m not used to being treated as well as he treats me. He held/opened all the doors for me, told me all the things he liked about me, threw my trash away and always asked if I was okay. Plus, when we were gonna hang out traffic in the area was super backed up and I didn’t wanna be out all night, so he even offered to take a rain check! 

The best part, he surprised me! It’s a silly surprise, but no one has ever done anything like that for me! I told him my car was out of windshield wiper fluid so when I was at work he got my keys from a coworker and put solvant in there for me!

It’s still kind of sad to me though that I subconsciously categorize people as weird because I’m not used to being treated well. That needs to change, ASAP.

This is not about boys or break ups or anything remotely similar, it’s just hidden.

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These will stop on Sunday because I promised myself one week of drama and questioning everything and being mushy, then I will force myself to move on. 

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Tag(s): #personal

I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason but sometimes I wish I could get a letter in the mail or text message or something explaining why each thing happened. Hmph.

I just got in a huge fight with my sister and mom about whether my sister is a morning person a not. A morning person is by definition someone who willingly wakes up at/around 6 am and goes to sleep at/around 10 pm. Even on my off days, that is my schedule. When does Lena go to bed? Generally around 11 p - 1 a. 

Also an important note…being a morning person means you are the most energetic in the morning time. Yeah not you Lena. The fights in this house are frustrating.

I ate alone because of this..

Some people comfort eat, Gemma comfort starves herself. Between not getting along with my family, this break up, and my general health, I’m gonna lose sooooo much weight. 

On a lighter note, I’m taking 16 credits this semester so if I keep good grades in all of them like I did last semester, I am finally eligible for dean’s list!! 

I know I’m getting better when I can look back at good days and just smile because they happened. 

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On a side note: why is it that when I finally decide I just want to fly solo for a while, every human with a penis wants my number?